I hated chemistry back in the day. Protons? Neutrons? Electrons? Atoms? The only atom Adam I ever concerned myself with was tall, dark, and precociously scruffy. Someone picked up on these hormonal high-school obsessions and put the chemistry back in chemistry. Who knew an atom was one big orgy fun zone? And when hydrogen is around, carbon is a bona-fide sex god? Or that water hates potassium — for really immature, undisclosed reasons. (An unrequited crush maybe?)
I recently cracked a cookie open and read:
"You should be able to undertake and complete anything."
(Dammit!)
Russian gold medalist Evgeni Plushenko has lost his ever-lovin' mind. We found a priceless video of him warming up the Olympic crowd with his figure-skating routine to Tom Jones's "Sex Bomb," complete with foam muscles and a gold bikini bottom. Gyrating, mugging, and generally making a fool out of himself, Evgeni proves that when retires his skates, Chippendale's will welcome him with open arms. This is truly cheese-tastic.
Get Flash to see this player.
var so1640736 = new SWFObject('http://images.teamsugar.com/static/flash/mediaplayer.swf','mpl','425','350','7'); so1640736.addParam('allowfullscreen','true'); so1640736.addVariable("file",'1640736.flv'); so1640736.addVariable('height','350'); so1640736.addVariable('image','http://images.teamsugar.com/media/cooked/thumbs/1640736.jpg'); so1640736.addVariable('width','425'); so1640736.write('player_1640736');
Hello Kitty Is Named Japan Tourism Ambassador
Look out, people, a fictional character is now a government envoy for Japan! Hello Kitty has been named by the tourism ministry to represent Japan in China and Hong Kong, where "kitty fever" is pretty high. This is exciting stuff, but not as exciting as the news that a multimillion-dollar musical starring Hello Kitty — "Hello Kitty's Dream Light Fantasy" — is scheduled to come to the US within the next few years. (I'm looking for tickets now!) Click here to read about all the Hello Kitty madness.
Have they just sent their youngest kids off to college? Or won the lottery? Or heard that they're the next contestant on The Price Is Right? Nope. These middle-aged teenyboppers are crazy happy cuz, well, they don't exactly know at this point. But Oprah is about to tell them. And whatever makes Oprah happy makes them happy.
Sheyla Hershey is a 28-year-old woman with a dream: to have the biggest ta-tas in the world. She's already had eight surgeries, each breast has about two quarts of silicone inside, but she wants to go even bigger. (She claims that the bigger the boobs, the greater her self-esteem.) By law, American surgeons can't put any more gunk in her, but when a woman's got a dream, she can't be stopped. (Sheyla is going to give new meaning to the word "bust," and it's not going to be pretty when they do just that.)
Or is it really that baaaaad? Consider all the repetitive pop music out nowadays and then listen to this little ditty from the '70s. Same difference. By today's standards, this song has what it takes to become a chart-topping hit: easy lyrics, a catchy chorus, no vocal talent whatsoever, and enough animal role-playing to make it big-time sexytime. I can hear it on TRL already.
Everyone knows that there's no such thing as perfect, but you might not want to rely on a bridal boutique that puts the word perfect in scare quotes and can't write anything in a straight line. Unless that's what you're looking for.
Hello Naughty! Meanwhile, someone's little sister is running around the house looking for her beloved pink blankie. But this will make growing into big sis's hand-me-down clothes not such a drag later on. (May I recommend a matching bra to boot?)
This little chihuahua seems pretty unmoved by her family's rendition of the '80s song by A-ha, "Take On Me." That is — at first. Once she gets cooking, though, there's no stopping her. Lady sings the blues!
Remember Sea Monkeys? How perverse was this child's "toy"? You added water, and the next thing you knew, you had an entire family that responded to your stimuli, whether it was food or music. Turns out, of course, that Sea Monkeys were just brine shrimp. Why do I bring all this up? Because I was looking at a recent picture of the (nearly unrecognizable) Nikki Cox (Las Vegas), and wondered, who does she remind me of? Oh yeah. The Sea Monkey mom.
As if the crap for sale at pawn shops isn't questionable enough, these dudes think talking like Ahnold and taking a public leak in the middle of their own shop will compel customers to "get down here now." More like, get outta here now — and they won't be back. Unless, of course, they discover that the oversized diamond engagement ring they bought was really an overpriced cubic zirconia set on a band of fool's gold.
