Behold Tommy Seebach bouncing his booty in a forest in the middle of nowhere! Behold the monster mustache on his upper lip! Behold the groupies paid to half-heartedly dance around him and shake it in "tribal" bikinis! Behold Tommy's musical tribute to the Apache people! Behold Tommy making a mockery of Native American culture by perpetuating the stereotypes associated with it! Thanks but no thanks, Tommy . . .
She walks, talks, has an oily T-zone, and her name is Lisa. She's a robot who's been programmed to be the "Perfect Woman" — that is, she does the dishes and sweeps the floor without complaint. Lisa supposedly has vocal, tactile, and visual recognition capabilities that allow her to meet the needs (dinner? massage? grocery shopping?) of her partner. The only question is: Is Lisa a real robot or an online hoax run amok on the net? Some argue that Lisa is a human posing as a robot with intent to poke fun at the absurd (but very real) guys and dolls fetish. But the website for the project looks darn legit. It's a tough call, but I hope this is one spectacularly bad joke.
Remember the commercial, "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" Well, people from around the world will roll down a hill, risking life and limb, for a giant round of Double Gloucester cheese at the annual Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake. (As a cheese lover, this makes total sense to me.) Lest you think this is merely child's play, consider this: the cheese can reach speeds up to 70 mph, it knocked over and injured a spectator in 1997, and it's a pretty uneven and steep hill so there are always sprained ankles and broken bones. Here's some footage of this year's cheese roll. (Mmmm, cheese roll.)
If I knew all I had to do to look "cute" on a daily basis is guzzle down a few vitamins, as well as cook, clean, and dust for a patronizing male punk, then — where's my shot glass? "Vixen" by way of vodka is more the look I'm going for.
"I think I was put on this earth to instill self-esteem in young girls." - Tyra Banks in a New York Times Magazine interview.
Really?! And all this time I thought she was put on this earth to teach women how to "smile with their eyes." I'm a completely different person now that I understand that concept! (Although everyone else just asks me if I have something in my eye.)
Let's consider: the bacon-scented bacon print tuxedo, the bacon scarf, the 60-slice bacon cheese Whopper, bacon mathematics, the bacon alarm clock, Bacon by Victoria, pocket bacon, bacon mints, bacon bandages, and last but not least, bacon-flavored dog treats. What's the single most influential food item known to man, woman, and dog alike? It's . . . BACON!!!
British Family's £4m Marbella Villa Trashed After 400 Facebook Revellers Crash Girl's 16th Birthday Party
That's a $7,900,000 villa to you and me. (Must be nice.) 16-year-old Jodie Hudson made the mistake of advertising her sixteenth birthday bash as "the party of the year" on FaceBook, giving out her address and promising lots of alcohol and DJs. Although she and her mother (who was present) were expecting around 400 guests to this villa in Andalusia, Spain, teens from all over Costa Del Sol showed up, destroying property, stealing thousands of dollars worth of clothes and jewelry and justifying it because they heard Jodie's parents were divorcing anyway. (What kind of logic is that?) Naturally, Jodie wrote about her punishment on FaceBook: "I got punched by my mum for it and grounded until the summer. wat a a BITCH!" Sigh. Click here to read more about this obnoxious teen and to view some awesome pics of the mayhem.
When Whoopi Goldberg makes the fatal mistake of mentioning the Sex and the City movie during a taping of The View, Sherri and Elisabeth can't contain their schoolgirl giggling, excited hand holding, and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious gushing. It gets a bit unnerving, but thankfully, Whoopi knows how to calmly and maturely put the two tweens in their place — by making fun of them. W00t for Whoopi!
If you thought ManBabies was an important milestone in the history of the Internet, then hop over and take a look at Cat Ladies. Some loony tune kitty lover had enough sense to know that there are two types of people in this world: those of us who have "real" babies and those of us who treat our cats as if they were "real" babies. For the latter group, this loony tune kitty lover created a head switcheroo photo site on the net. It was only fair. Visit the Cat Ladies website for more photoshopped purrrfection.
And I don't even like techno. TGIF (Thank God It's Fowl-Day!) Be-gock!
Dear Sir,
Should you need a retort, I have one for you I've been using since I was in the fifth grade: "Maybe it's your upper lip."
Love,
Giggle
Emo fruits and vegetables critique what passes for emo these days. Emo Melon is pretty cool, but he's no Henri, the emo cat.
Last time I checked, McDonald's doesn't do deliveries. Which can only mean one thing for this poor soul driving a pimped-out "I'm lovin' it" McDonald's-mobile: fast food is bad for your brain, too. (Thanks for snapping these pics therewillbebud!)
