Brown Majik

Is it just me, or does Leslie's definition of "camel toe" beat around the bush? We need the fearless Marc Jacobs to tip-toe in here and set the record straight!

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This isn't your typical "senior moment"! This older gent is balancing on a wine bottle for reasons known only to himself. Perhaps he drank all of its contents and then decided that this was a great way to spend the evening. (Just a wild guess.)

Kathy Griffin appeared on Larry King Live last Friday to promote the return of her Emmy-winning reality show, My Life on the D-List. Given that Kathy has something nasty to say about everyone — minus Anderson Cooper — Larry knew exactly what he was doing when he dragged Tom Cruise into the discussion. He was stepping into a minefield of accusations and slander and . . . invisible alien antennae? Good times!

Can you think of anything cooler than grabbing your three best girlfriends and parading around the convention center on a gang of Segways? Me neither. But one of these divas gets a little too confident, speeds up, and kills the cool for the rest of the ladies. Dammit! Now they all just look stupid.

Here's an official plea to marketing and advertising folks: Please do not feature talking chickens and/or chicken carcasses anymore! I'm not even a vegetarian (I can't imagine how they view these things!) and I find it beyond gruesome that they continue to feature chicken characters who practically beg to be cooked! (Like those depressing Foster Farms chickens.) Stop the insanity!

Izzy, the albino squirrel, has a factory line of peanuts to nibble through and he's up to the task. Watch him pounce on each nut, shake it to hear the goodies inside then crack away at the outer shell like a pro. This is like a Top Chef quickfire challenge — only nuttier.

I've never understood the concept of pranking people who have the misfortune to work in fast food, especially the drive-through windows. Take this little twerp. He's not happy simply to make this poor woman's life a little more miserable by singing his order or something else equally dumb. Oh, no. He's gotta throw an entire drink on her! I hope that the time it took this minidouchebag to figure out how to get his car from neutral to drive gave the poor employees at this fast-food joint time to get his license plate. Either that, or time to chase him down and beat his ass.

Thanks, eBaum's World

More like: guilty of being conceited, dumbass, and desperate. (But if we drizzle some nacho cheese on that douche dog, Mr. Weiner Head just might score a date. )

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While this dude is on location and reporting on a high school tragedy, the unthinkable happens. A germy insect. Flies. Into his mouth. Gasp! And when the bug flies in, all of the mounting irritations and annoyances of the day fly out. Someone's clearly not a happy country camper. (Warning: Foul language up ahead!)

"Something there is that doesn't love a wall," Robert Frost once mused in a poem. Here's the video rejoinder from the wall: tough titties!

It's hard to say. Really hard. Hint: it's for men. New ones come out all the time. The French are famous for it. Guess what this ad is for?

I don't know how this woman ever agreed to be the passenger of a driver who appears to be in the middle of the Indie 500! Let's just say her screams of terror can't be helping. Next time, drive alone, dude.

The Baldwin brothers are suffering from a serious case of doucheface. Our little game usually features only two undesirables, but the Baldwin family has douchelords to spare. Who would you hook up with, and possibly risk being verbally abused by, if you had to...

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This baby is having some issues staying vertical. I think perhaps there are excess weights in his head? He'll get the hang of it eventually. (Click here to see more and thanks to laurengrand for sending this link!)

As if banking on the irresponsible misdoings of young teens during prom isn't shameless enough, the url provided (StrollerGalaxy.com) takes users straight to — a crisis hotline? Planned Parenthood? A support group website? Click here and see for yourself.

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