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This probably won’t fit my site’s template - but it’s too awesome not to post. Calvin and Hobbes on Medication.
Whether the bride made us do it or there was a lapse in our own judgment, we've all been caught dead in an ugly dress. Unfortunately, there's usually evidence to remind us in the form of a prominently displayed picture hanging on mom and dad's living room wall. UglyDress.com is an archive of fugly frocks and, chances are, you'll find someone wearing something 10 times uglier than that geometric eyesore you donned for your sister's wedding. (Feeling brave? Visit the site and enter its ugly dress competition!)
Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll. Add to that list of scourges ruining our children? Wizards and their wizardy ways. Just ask Stephen Colbert. (And yes, this is based on a true story.)
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We're living in an age that seems frightened — nay, terrified — of crotch hair, or, to put it more delicately, hair on the "bikini area." In the '70s, hairy everything was the rage and now? Nothin'. Even dudes wax their brows! Well, this hilarious parody of Japanese-style commercials, complete with B-movie scare tactics and awesome sound effects, turns that fear of hair down there into a commercial that could be a horror flick. (I wish our ads were this good! And FYI, I don't think that's really Japanese being spoken, but I could be wrong.)
Heelarious? Heel no! Baby's first high heels are just so wrong I'm not going to waste space pointing out the obvious. Just look at that picture above. I don't even wear high heels, so the idea that an infant needs "completely soft, fully functional high heel crib shoes" is just dumb. What's next, baby's first thong?
Sex sells, but there's nothing remotely sexy about a sponge, especially a dirty sponge. Well, some advertising sleazeball thought a filthy sponge was exactly what this world needed, so he made hedgehog-on-sponge porn and called it a commercial. It's shameless, unnecessary, and my poor dishes now feel betrayed.
I've been known to be a cynic. (Pause for laughter and all the "no sh*t, Sherlock!" comments to die down.) But they say that a cynic is really just a softie at heart, and that must be true, because this video is killing me. This little girl keeps interrupting her recital of the alphabet by saying "Cookie Monster!" and then giggling. Ol' Kermit is trying to keep a straight puppet face, cuz she's so ridiculously adorable. Especially at the end. Sigh.
Somebody needs to either go back to art school or back to the drawing board. Guess what these Gummi candies are supposed to be?
Why take a shortcut when you can go the longest, most convoluted and insanely roundabout way possible? That's the Rube Goldberg way. Be patient as this Cadbury Egg meanders its way towards its creamy destination. It's worth the wait.
"What would you like to drink?" "Anything." "Well, I have a lot of choices." "Whatever." In Singapore, this conversation probably goes on a lot. Why? Because they have two soft drinks available with the two words teenagers like to say the most (especially "whatever"). Whatever is a carbonated soda — you'll know that much going in — and Anything is some kind of tea. What flavors they'll be is a surprise. (Hopefully, not like the Jones Soda flavors with salmon and brussels sprouts flavors.) They're like the iPod Shuffle feature, only they're soft drinks. (If you're like me, though, I never like anything Shuffle gives me, which makes me wonder sometimes if it's really my iPod or if I'm just a control freak.)
The annoying talking food phenomenon continues! Heartthrob at large, Andy Samberg, has a problem. His Klondike bar just got dumped, it's feeling kinda lonely, and wants someone to hang out and snuggle with. Andy doesn't typically "snuggle," but will he do it for a Klondike bar? He says "no." The manipulative ice cream treat has another answer in mind. The sitch goes sour from there . . . (Warning: NSFW language)
