Buster spends his whole day being man's best friend; is a little reciprocity asking too much? He thinks not. So when he doesn't get the love and attention he deserves, Buster busts out his no-fail secret weapon. Here's how it goes: Don't bark, just look. Look as sad and needy as one manipulative and profoundly pushy dog can possibly manage. And then wait for it, wait for it . . .
We usually ask you to guess whether certain headlines are real or fake, but we'll let the cat out of the bag and assure you that these are all real — we've got the newspaper clippings to prove it! Whether the following headlines mean what they say or don't say what they mean, they're all pretty darn hilarious. The headline featured above is fine, but the quoted statement below it is just too good to pass up. In the mood for more funny newspaper clippings? Click here.
George Orwell once feared for the English language, noting that vague prose, wordiness, and clichés were killing the truth and our souls. Well, he never heard corporate speak! (Click here and here if you're dying for more.) He would have popped a vein if he could hear sentences like, "Moving forward, let's touch base about leveraging our chances at incentivising folks into purchasing these synergistically utilizable value-added, outside-the-box integrated solutions. They're low-hanging fruit, people! Let's put 110 percent into picking them while they're ripe." I have no idea what I just said, but I'm proud of those sentences nonetheless. So what's the most annoying corporate catch phrase?
As if there isn't enough weirdness surrounding the menstruation taboo, the creative minds over at Tampax deem it fun and appropriate to suggest that menstruating women can suck the water up out of pools — because of the highly absorbent artillery they shove up themselves for period relief. Thanks to tampons, absolutely nothing can escape a menstruating woman's vajayjay. Nothing! Which is exactly what we women want: the ability to suck everything up there. Right?
You have to admit, the whole Dracula thing really killed it for them. All bats do is hide in caves, sleep during the day, party at night, and suck some blood every now and then. Big deal. Most bats, like the little guy below, don't even go for blood; they'd much rather suck the life out of a piece of fruit. Take a look. Tell me this baby fruit bat isn't the most unconventionally cute thing you've ever seen . . .
When a giant hole in the wall appeared out of nowhere, the town had a good idea who their suspect was. For more pics of the crime scene in question, click here.
Thanks, eBaum's World!
These two cuties are celebrating California's decision to legalize gay marriage — but for different reasons, as we will find out. Turns out that in every relationship, gay or straight, there may be a person who's just not that into you. In that way.
Not by choice. I have no clue why this chick puts her head on this crooner's chest in the first place, but she does, and when she goes to step away — there's just no escape. While she's trying to subtly yank the hair out of his pendant, or out of her head (whichever comes first), he's thinking that he's a bona fide stud. Talk about a sticky situation . . .
Oh, I say, "WTF?!" but I really, really love weirdo commercials. Take this Old Spice "Double Impact" body wash. It washes. And it moisturizes. (Men care about moisturizing now? I didn't get that memo.) The important question is, is he hung like a centaur? (I just had to.)
It's a service that allows people to get to know one another in the most civilized way possible. Which is why this ad is misleading...
Oh, man. This is so relentlessly cute that I kept waiting for a disaster to strike, or a streaker to come out onto the field or something to ruin the perfection. But nope, just a cute giggling boy chased by a gaggle of adorable puppies. Let's just turn off the cynicism and enjoy. Thanks, College Humor!
Marriage Declared Invalid After Groom Learns He Drunkenly Said ‘I Do’ 30 Years Earlier
What happens in Arizona, stays in Arizona. Forever. Until it's annulled. Seems some Australian guy tried to get hitched recently, only to find out he'd drunkenly gotten married in 1978 — while he was married to someone going on 14 years! (Are you following this?) He divorced that first wife a while back, and, thinking that was it, was surprised to be presented with his drunken scrawl on the '78 marriage license when applying for the recent one. Word to the new bride: this one's a keeper; as in, you'd better keep yer eye on him! Click here to read about why gay marriage won't make a dent on the institution as it stands.
Look ma, no hands instant brain damage! Although one wonders how much of a brain there was to begin with if this is the best idea the girl can come up with for fun on a Saturday night. Whatever happened to a nice dinner and a movie?
